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| 05:46pm 26/06/2007 |
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recently i've been taking the dog for a walk in the morning. not by choice.
i can think of better things to do than pick up shit. sometimes
anyway
there's a house that always has a gang of magpies. i don't know if you can call it a murder of magpies like you can with crows, but it sure would be apt if you could
there is NINE of them.
one magpie in spring is bad enough. it only takes one magpie to take your eye. imagine the damage 9 could inflict
i know where i'm avoiding in a few months.
18 beady eyes watching you, wanting your sweet sweet eye juice |
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(1 Shut your stupid face | No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:33pm 05/06/2007 |
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im going to start a pyramid scheme. you can get in on it if you want.
i'll be the peak and you can recruit the lower levels.
it works in this way.
you go and recruit people, they pay you money, and that gives them the ability to go and recruit and collect money from other people
initially you'll get a fixed 15% of all monies collected.
I'll get a fixed 30% of all money collected and then everyone else will get to keep the remaining 55% on a proportionate basis
it's beautiful in it's simplicity
don't question it. just accept
if this scheme.... sorry business model fails i'll have to establish myself as a sci-fi writer so that i can then start and found a religion |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 04:07pm 28/05/2007 |
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I was bored during a class today and so had decided to leave by the time the lecturer came. When he arrived I went up to him and said I was sorry but I wasn't able to stay for class. I tried to look as much like I was in a hurry as possible.
The end result was me almost running to my car, getting in and starting to quickly drive away before i realised "wait, im not actually in a hurry to get anywhere. that was all a bullshit excuse to leave class"
So I guess the point is that I can delude myself as long as it serves my purpose. awesome
You'll have to excuse me, I'm a very important person with important things to be doing |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 10:46pm 06/05/2007 |
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i love that the logies had jessica alba and michael weatherly. they were once engaged. how awkward |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 12:42am 03/05/2007 |
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i think sometimes i forget how little i have going on.
i had an assignment due yesterday so i've been forced into 2 days of busy activity to do it and i was able to hand it in today and there was such a relief at finishing it.
i had to nap for a while to figure out what that relief was, and it was relief at accomplishing something.
im sure there's more stuff i can do
the problem i can't be bothered doing most of it
get a job - can't be fucked
do some charity work - can't be fucked
exercise more - can't be fucked
get up earlier - can't be fucked
there seems to be a recurring theme throughout my life
now all i need to do is find it |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:10pm 12/04/2007 |
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i don't know at what point subtle satire can be called the real thing
there has to be a point where you are sooooo subtle, that maybe you do believe in whatever it is you were satire
for instance someone says they like gregorian chant (hfmffphh as if that would ever happen. if you happened to research and listen to some chant and were then to convey to the person you were talking to that you too were interested in chant, when really you thought it was stupid and were being sarcastic, but you seemed so engrossed that the other person never realised, doesn't that mean that in their mind you love the chant?
and if you never let on and it remained a personal joke, and to everyone else it appears you love gregorian chant, does that mean you were really satirizing them?
i mean if you do too sublte a satire that it appears the real thing, isn't it not satire any more, but polite conversation
like when a great aunt talks racist and you just have to keep quiet because they come from a different era. |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:43pm 09/04/2007 |
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last week i went on my annual camping trip
i know, poor predictable iain
so set in his ways
i had been looking forward to the chance to burn some stuff and look through the stream for gold, real childhood stuff
everything from the beginning was off
it was hot, i was agitated, the sealed road was closed so you have to go cross country. my car is rubbish but i still dont like to be sitting in it hearing it fall apart from the grading on the road
so i was in a foul mood from the start
i got there and THERE WAS A TOTAL FIRE BAN
i knew lighting fires was a major component of camping. i just didnt realise how big a component it was.
it turns out camping is 90% about the fire.
nothing to cook on, no light, no foraging during the day, no warmth, no silly accidents, nothing.
big deal dwellingup almost burnt down over summer. how the hell am i going to have fun camping?
i will just have to burn twice as much stuff next year round
if i can be bothered going |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:16pm 25/03/2007 |
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i dont know why but i've had a general feeling of optimism for the last 3 or 4 months
it just feels like everythings coming up millhouse
i mean nothing has actually happened. my situations the same, my lifestyles the same
its not like "i once was lost but now im found" type of thing. i always felt pretty good, but now there's an expectation of things to come
not only is jesus christ the answer for my life, he's also the answer for your life.
hahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahahahahaha
but seriously i dont believe in god, i can just never get past that advert. |
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(3 Shut your stupid faces | No please, i want to hear) |
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| 12:03am 15/03/2007 |
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i am the leader of the free-world
........see just because i say i am doesn't mean that i am |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| there can beeee only oneeee |
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| 12:33am 27/02/2007 |
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i went to ambar on saturday night to check it out
i had to do some breakbeats research before i went so i didn't look a fool
turns out my fears were realised but inconsequential
school started today. i have a total of 9 contact hours and im full time. i managed to get it into 2 days. monday for 5, tuesday for 4
so now i feel i dont have to pay the exorbitant parking fees
last year $64
this year, $90something. how do you justify that
why don't they just scrap all parking except for 50 bays and then sell them off for $100 000 a year. that way they wouldn't even have to patrol as many bays. and the people that manage to get a bay in the great lotto could sublet them for $308 for a 12.5% return
i'll stick to my scooter and free parking, and if it rains i'll pay the $9 a week it would cost me to pay park
did he just write a post on school and parking??
oh no he didunt |
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(2 Shut your stupid faces | No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:48pm 12/02/2007 |
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i've been playing a lot of mahjong and it seems a lot of white guys choose to have the red dragon symbol tattooed onto themselves
i thought
'no way man. no way am i gonna copy that. i'll do something even more original and heartfelt (read: superficial)'
so i went along to applecross tattoos
the only place you can get some ink done AND sit back for a quiet crack pipe
and i got this
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(1 Shut your stupid face | No please, i want to hear) |
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| 09:40pm 01/02/2007 |
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i went surfcating the other day
it was just me, the surf, the wind in my hair, friendly rays of sunlight and a circling bull shark
i got there and spoke to the operator guy ready to blab about how i had done my tl1and 3 at school and that "yes sir i can sail sir. you just HAVE to give me a go sir." but all he asked was if i had any experience.
i felt deflated
especially since lifejackets were optional. it just seemed so not unsafe
to top it off i watched some 11 year old kids sail and they did a much better job than me
till i slit their fucking sails.
a man can dream
it was pretty fun which is just as well seeing as they were "funcats" or wavedancers or some other exciting name
now im gearing up for some april camping. i bought a flask today
i also got a little saucepan so that i could deepfry my vegetarian chicken and leave the oil in the pan for later use
its telfon though and i watched an alarmist expose that said if i over heated it, it might release toxins into my food and kill me.
seeing as im super heating oil in it there is a possible case
in any instance i like the chicken vegetable too much to stop
well that just about fills in whatever gaps i may have left in my posting over the last months |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| god bless am... australia |
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| 11:51am 27/01/2007 |
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i've never felt right about strong emotions like patriotism and religion. they both seem to be a little akin to racism and other junk
it all seems a little us and them
i always thought that the perception of australia was that they just got on with the job. no complaining, not really perturbed by what people said or thought.
thats probably wrong. perhaps it was never like that
but to me it just seems like there are a lot of people too caught up.
im wearing my flag underwear, a flag tattoo, flag hat, flag singlet, flag shorts. i've got a flag(on) of coffee and of course my flag cape.
i like to raise and salute the flag every morning before refusing to serve non australians or australians with apathetic views at my australian store. my favourite song is queen - champions because of course we are the champions of the world.
i don't like shops open on sundays because its the family day. i dont care if people cant shop other days or want a little consumer freedom/choice. its a family day for the family unit.
the only problem with australia is lack of water, lack or christian morales, too many non australian or australian foreign sympathiser and those "do gooders". people should be killed for all crimes except speeding. if caught speeding once they should be thrashed. if caught a second time thats when they should die. i mean its the australian way to give everyone a fair go right?
remember if you're not with us, you're against us
boy it sure feels nice to exist in the centre of the universe with no problems
i dont think patriotism is wrong.
i think maybe a little smugness is fine when australia wins something or if someone from overseas praises an aspect of australia
but overly outward or strong displays are gross |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 10:48pm 18/01/2007 |
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i's got's an myspace
my myspace email is seascoutmaster@gmail.com
name iain
check it
and possibly befriend me. its currently a very lonely space |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| i'll never be your obese burden |
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| 12:47pm 14/01/2007 |
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you know how when you're semi asleep crazy logic applies
take this morning for instance.
after a heap of early mornings i thought i would just let myself sleep till whatever time necessary
i woke up at 11 but still felt like i wanted more sleep
so i drifted back
10 minutes later i woke again
this sort of cycle happened until 11.40 when i felt afraid maybe i would sleep past 12.
"no" i said to myself. "its ok, each little segment of sleep represents (i dont know what it represented) and you've had little sleeps for each of those (representative things), so you can't possibly sleep past 12"
quota filled and problem solved. kind of |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| when tuckers daughters a memory. or in a telephone booth on a highway |
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| 11:18pm 18/12/2006 |
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i went to the raffles intending on having one $10 over-priced pint.
i ended up having my pint, pizza, coffee, a gin martini and two measures of quality scotch..... for the princely sum of my original $10
i feel like king of the world
if the king was easily pleased........ and had to walk home........... and didn't expect the same treatment tomorrow........ - and if by king you envisioned some inbred fool - (not me)
so cervantes. i don't want to talk badly of it. it had some things going for it
ummm
yeah the wind. it had lots of uhhh wind.
you cant have enough wind
and uh space. lots of space in cervantes
there was lots of ugly women too. i guess it has that going for it. its a positive because.... let me think of a positive spin..... because they like isolation
did i mention my sister and mum used to say i was misogynous |
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(No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:06pm 17/12/2006 |
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wow.
hall and oates continues to impress
my mining escapade finished prematurely
the drill rig was a relic
i think i could drill more with a hand-drill from wood work classes
i did eat well though. ill list stuff later
one thing i did happen across that i never want to see again is ticks. sure doesnt sound like a big deal but i would prefer spiders to lay thousands of baby spiders in my skull before i want another tick sucking away the source of my life.
but seriously, hall and oates
i also passed all this semesters units.
that means i only have 6 units left, which means that i am only 27.3596692 years behind where i anticipated being at this age |
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(3 Shut your stupid faces | No please, i want to hear) |
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| 11:09pm 06/12/2006 |
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music: life without music
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Have you seen this cat?!?
Wanted for grievous bodily harm and sexual penetration
As you can see the victim is in shock and was clearly defenceless against this unwarranted cat attack.
When asked about the circumstances of this heinous crime, this is what the victim had to say about it,
"everything was fine. we were jus chillin on the couch. the cat all of a sudden became cagey and agitated. it was lying on my chest
and i wasn't entirely comfortable. i asked it to move. it looked at me with those souless eyes. it was then i told it i wasn't comfortable and that
we should 'cool it'. i wasn;t ready nor in the mood for what it had in mind. i made to get up and it just went crazy and attacked. i blacked out after that"
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(3 Shut your stupid faces | No please, i want to hear) |
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iainsidiocy's journal
